Aristotle, The Golden Mean and Emotional Regulation

Understanding and managing emotion is part of the human condition. Modern psychology and therapy often echo the wisdom of past times. Take Aristotle for example.

Finding emotional balance

The famous Greek philosopher, believed that a good life was one of virtue and balance. He taught that most human traits (including emotions) lie on a spectrum, and that virtue is found between two extremes: too much, and too little.

He called this balanced point the “golden mean.”

For example:

• Courage is the golden mean between recklessness and cowardice.

• Generosity is the mean between wastefulness and stinginess.

• Patience is the mean between passivity and irritability.

  
  

Crucially, Aristotle never suggested we should suppress our emotions. Instead, he believed we should feel them in the right amount, at the right time, for the right reasons. That sounds a lot like what many of us are trying to learn in therapy.

Aristotle sitting in as Psychotherapist

Emotions and Balance in Modern Therapy

Modern therapies like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) all share something with Aristotle’s idea: they help us find emotional balance.

For example:

• In CBT, we learn to challenge thoughts that lead to exaggerated emotional responses. It helps bring us back to a more grounded place.

• ACT teaches us to accept difficult feelings without overreacting or avoiding them, and to act in line with our values.

• In DBT, one key goal is to learn “emotion regulation”—to understand and manage feelings in a balanced way.

  
  

In other words, therapy often helps us find our own golden mean—not avoiding emotions, and not being overwhelmed by them either.

The Golden Mean in Real Life

Let’s take a look at some everyday emotional challenges and how the golden mean might help you reflect on balance.

Emotion or Trait	Too Little (Deficiency)	Golden Mean (Healthy Expression)	Too Much (Excess)
Anger	Suppressed or passive	Assertiveness, setting boundaries	Explosive, aggressive
Fear/Anxiety	Recklessness, denial	Awareness, healthy caution	Paralysis, panic
Confidence	Insecurity, self-doubt	Self-belief, realistic optimism	Arrogance, overconfidence
Compassion	Detachment, coldness	Kindness with boundaries	Over-involvement, burnout
Sadness	Emotional numbness	Grieving, expressing feelings	Rumination, despair

This table isn’t meant to box you in—but to offer a starting point. You might ask yourself:

“When I get angry, do I shut down? Or lash out? What might a balanced expression look like?”

How Can Therapy Help You Find Balance?

Therapy offers a safe space to reflect on your emotional responses and explore:

• When emotions feel too big or out of control

• When emotions feel numb or unreachable

• How your responses align (or clash) with your values

• What a healthier middle ground could look like
  

Together with your therapist, you can develop practical tools to respond more flexibly to life’s challenges. Whether it’s learning to communicate assertively, soothe your anxiety, or build emotional resilience, therapy helps bring your emotional life into greater alignment—what Aristotle might call flourishing.

The Wisdom of Balance

Here’s the beauty of the golden mean: it’s not about being perfect. It’s about noticing when you’ve drifted too far toward one extreme, and gently guiding yourself back toward balance.

It’s okay to feel deeply. It’s okay to struggle. What matters is how you respond.

If you’ve ever felt “too much” or “not enough”—too emotional, too distant, too reactive, too shut down—therapy can help you make sense of it. You’re not broken. You’re human.

As Aristotle wrote:

“Anyone can become angry—that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not easy.”

But it is possible. And therapy is a good place to begin.

Want to Find Your Balance?

If you’re curious about how therapy can help you explore your emotional patterns and find your own golden mean, I’d love to support you. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, anger, overthinking, or disconnection, therapy offers tools for reflection, growth, and healing.

Get in touch today to book a free consultation and take the first step toward emotional balance.